Reciprocation

Recently, a nice elderly couple I've known for some time has run into a bit of trouble.  While many people have learned to save for retirement, these people spent for the moment.  Tragically, it's cost them big time, as they have "outlived" their money.

Their adult son, who is himself retired and in his 60's, has been helping them for quite some time.  First, he bought them a condo as a retirement present.  The fact that they did not save up for it over time was obviated, because he did it for them.  However, over time, they kept right on spending whatever they had, more and more, until there was nothing left.

As frustrating, stressful, and tragic as it was for everyone involved, the adult son persevered.  However, their health began to deteriorate as well.  Eventually, they were not able to live independently as they once were.

So now, this adult son is looking to place his elderly parents in a nursing home.  For some, this may seem like the end of the line.  However, he's been researching several fine facilities in the area, and will soon be making a selection that will suit both his parents best.

I can remember, as a child, being somewhat uncomfortable when visiting nursing homes.  My Cub Scout pack would sometimes go to one for some sort of service project for the elderly.  I didn't understand why the residents looked the way they did, or why they were there, but I knew I would not visit such a facility by my own choice.

Later, I learned that such places are risky.  Sometimes the staff abuses the residents.  Sometimes they overmedicate them just to keep them quiet.  And sometimes they're just used to temporarily warehouse the elderly until their eventual demise.  Sometimes, adult children will house their parents in these facilities and never visit them again.  This is most likely because of abuse or some other misdeeds wrought by the parents during their hale and hearty years, and the adult children's desire to simply "put them away."

However, such is not the case here.  I know this couple to be fine, lovely people.  They have lived long, full, lives, that apparently require some assistance during their "Golden Years."  What their adult son is doing is merely returning the favor.  He had always been a "tit-fot-tat" kind of gentleman -- he believed that whenever someone else does something good for you, you have a moral obligation to reciprocate it.  This fine and lovely couple raised him, taught him high standards, and gave him a foundation upon which to base his near-exemplary life.  Now that life has caused him and his parents to reverse their positions, he is merely returning the favor.  They took care of him as good parents should, so he is only taking care of them in return.

So for those of us fortunate to still have parents around and available, please note that today was Parents' Day.  It obviously doesn't get the same fanfare that Mothers' Day and Fathers' Day get, but let's take time to thank them for all they have done for us (and in some cases, continue to do).  There will come a time one day, not too far from now, when they will no longer be able to help, and will instead require our assistance.  Let's try to learn from this gentleman's example, and be there for whatever our parents need, whether it's a nursing home, help with finances, or even just time to have lunch with them. 

So Mom, Dad, thanks for everything!