A special one here, folks.
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Sunday, July 24, 2011
Reciprocation
Recently, a nice elderly couple I've known for some time has run into a bit of trouble. While many people have learned to save for retirement, these people spent for the moment. Tragically, it's cost them big time, as they have "outlived" their money.
Their adult son, who is himself retired and in his 60's, has been helping them for quite some time. First, he bought them a condo as a retirement present. The fact that they did not save up for it over time was obviated, because he did it for them. However, over time, they kept right on spending whatever they had, more and more, until there was nothing left.
As frustrating, stressful, and tragic as it was for everyone involved, the adult son persevered. However, their health began to deteriorate as well. Eventually, they were not able to live independently as they once were.
So now, this adult son is looking to place his elderly parents in a nursing home. For some, this may seem like the end of the line. However, he's been researching several fine facilities in the area, and will soon be making a selection that will suit both his parents best.
I can remember, as a child, being somewhat uncomfortable when visiting nursing homes. My Cub Scout pack would sometimes go to one for some sort of service project for the elderly. I didn't understand why the residents looked the way they did, or why they were there, but I knew I would not visit such a facility by my own choice.
Later, I learned that such places are risky. Sometimes the staff abuses the residents. Sometimes they overmedicate them just to keep them quiet. And sometimes they're just used to temporarily warehouse the elderly until their eventual demise. Sometimes, adult children will house their parents in these facilities and never visit them again. This is most likely because of abuse or some other misdeeds wrought by the parents during their hale and hearty years, and the adult children's desire to simply "put them away."
However, such is not the case here. I know this couple to be fine, lovely people. They have lived long, full, lives, that apparently require some assistance during their "Golden Years." What their adult son is doing is merely returning the favor. He had always been a "tit-fot-tat" kind of gentleman -- he believed that whenever someone else does something good for you, you have a moral obligation to reciprocate it. This fine and lovely couple raised him, taught him high standards, and gave him a foundation upon which to base his near-exemplary life. Now that life has caused him and his parents to reverse their positions, he is merely returning the favor. They took care of him as good parents should, so he is only taking care of them in return.
So for those of us fortunate to still have parents around and available, please note that today was Parents' Day. It obviously doesn't get the same fanfare that Mothers' Day and Fathers' Day get, but let's take time to thank them for all they have done for us (and in some cases, continue to do). There will come a time one day, not too far from now, when they will no longer be able to help, and will instead require our assistance. Let's try to learn from this gentleman's example, and be there for whatever our parents need, whether it's a nursing home, help with finances, or even just time to have lunch with them.
So Mom, Dad, thanks for everything!
Their adult son, who is himself retired and in his 60's, has been helping them for quite some time. First, he bought them a condo as a retirement present. The fact that they did not save up for it over time was obviated, because he did it for them. However, over time, they kept right on spending whatever they had, more and more, until there was nothing left.
As frustrating, stressful, and tragic as it was for everyone involved, the adult son persevered. However, their health began to deteriorate as well. Eventually, they were not able to live independently as they once were.
So now, this adult son is looking to place his elderly parents in a nursing home. For some, this may seem like the end of the line. However, he's been researching several fine facilities in the area, and will soon be making a selection that will suit both his parents best.
I can remember, as a child, being somewhat uncomfortable when visiting nursing homes. My Cub Scout pack would sometimes go to one for some sort of service project for the elderly. I didn't understand why the residents looked the way they did, or why they were there, but I knew I would not visit such a facility by my own choice.
Later, I learned that such places are risky. Sometimes the staff abuses the residents. Sometimes they overmedicate them just to keep them quiet. And sometimes they're just used to temporarily warehouse the elderly until their eventual demise. Sometimes, adult children will house their parents in these facilities and never visit them again. This is most likely because of abuse or some other misdeeds wrought by the parents during their hale and hearty years, and the adult children's desire to simply "put them away."
However, such is not the case here. I know this couple to be fine, lovely people. They have lived long, full, lives, that apparently require some assistance during their "Golden Years." What their adult son is doing is merely returning the favor. He had always been a "tit-fot-tat" kind of gentleman -- he believed that whenever someone else does something good for you, you have a moral obligation to reciprocate it. This fine and lovely couple raised him, taught him high standards, and gave him a foundation upon which to base his near-exemplary life. Now that life has caused him and his parents to reverse their positions, he is merely returning the favor. They took care of him as good parents should, so he is only taking care of them in return.
So for those of us fortunate to still have parents around and available, please note that today was Parents' Day. It obviously doesn't get the same fanfare that Mothers' Day and Fathers' Day get, but let's take time to thank them for all they have done for us (and in some cases, continue to do). There will come a time one day, not too far from now, when they will no longer be able to help, and will instead require our assistance. Let's try to learn from this gentleman's example, and be there for whatever our parents need, whether it's a nursing home, help with finances, or even just time to have lunch with them.
So Mom, Dad, thanks for everything!
Sunday, July 17, 2011
New Chapters
Hey all. Due to several headline events, I did not post last week. I've been advised to steer clear of controversial topics for several reasons. One perfectly valid reason is that I happen to know someone involved with a major news event that only occurred one week ago, and don't wish to influence his role in it. Granted, there are many things I'd like to say, both here and on the Common Man blog. However, in order to assuage the fears and concerns of one of my faithful readers, and in order not to impact in any way a major undertaking that my friend now has, I'll have to put those opinions to the side. If anyone wants to hear about them, please e-mail me.
So instead, moving right along to relatively light and fluffy topics, I've seen three families I've known reach major milestones. First of all, there's a young relative of mine getting married in a few weeks. This past weekend, I was part of his bachelor party at a local gambling mecca, where a good time was had by all. There's just something about casinos and dinner at a steak house that reminds us all that we are really men underneath it all!
But besides that, it gives me cause for reflection. I actually saw this groom when he was only a baby. I remember his older brother, three years old at the time, demanding that his mother "send him back to the boy store" because he thought he was getting a sister. Since then, I saw him grow -- I remember that his first word was merely repeating his father's given name over and over again. He distinguished himself academically, graduating with high honors. He earned a master's degree and landed a great job, and he is now marrying his college sweetheart. I guess you really know you're middle aged when you realize you've witnessed someone else's entire life span! So to the groom, once again, congratulations. By having met that someone special early in life, without any reliance on Internet dating sites, you are one of the few and proud to have achieved a slice of the American dream. You make me proud to be your cousin!
Also, a friend of mine and his wife are about to have a baby. This friend was a newlywed himself, and had always dreamed of becoming a father. Whenever he was around children, he would always comment that "I want one!" Well, they recently learned that this "one" is a girl. I know for sure he'll be an excellent father, and I wish him well on this of many new adventures.
Finally, another friend of mine is about to become a father for the third time. Since he already has two boys, many of us hoped for a daughter this time. However, it looks like he'll be the proud papa of "My Three Sons." I know that his house is a place of joy and fun, the kind of home any child would love to grow up in. So I know that my friend, his wife, his two sons, and the rest of the extended family will make a happy home for this new arrival as well.
New chapters for me? They remain to be seen. I know my wife and I have a weekend getaway coming up next month, and that I'll be running in the Disney Marathon this January. Still, I think I need to start writing new chapters soon, literally. With the help of another friend of mine "in the know," I am learning how to monetize this blog, and to make it a source of remuneration. Don't get me wrong, I like my job, and the earnings and respect that come with it. However, there are other ways I wish to contribute to the world and blogosphere out there, and that's by bringing more and more attention to bullying issues in school and elsewhere, as well as providing motivation for men and boys who sorely lack it (and there are more of them than you may think).
I would like to thank someone out there for a little extra inspiration for new chapters -- my sister. Today she gave me some amazing ideas for this blog, concerning its content at least, and I thank her for it. For her insight and extra motivation, I officially dub her, "The New Oprah!"
Thanks all -- don't forget to comment, e-mail, and "like" on Facebook!
So instead, moving right along to relatively light and fluffy topics, I've seen three families I've known reach major milestones. First of all, there's a young relative of mine getting married in a few weeks. This past weekend, I was part of his bachelor party at a local gambling mecca, where a good time was had by all. There's just something about casinos and dinner at a steak house that reminds us all that we are really men underneath it all!
But besides that, it gives me cause for reflection. I actually saw this groom when he was only a baby. I remember his older brother, three years old at the time, demanding that his mother "send him back to the boy store" because he thought he was getting a sister. Since then, I saw him grow -- I remember that his first word was merely repeating his father's given name over and over again. He distinguished himself academically, graduating with high honors. He earned a master's degree and landed a great job, and he is now marrying his college sweetheart. I guess you really know you're middle aged when you realize you've witnessed someone else's entire life span! So to the groom, once again, congratulations. By having met that someone special early in life, without any reliance on Internet dating sites, you are one of the few and proud to have achieved a slice of the American dream. You make me proud to be your cousin!
Also, a friend of mine and his wife are about to have a baby. This friend was a newlywed himself, and had always dreamed of becoming a father. Whenever he was around children, he would always comment that "I want one!" Well, they recently learned that this "one" is a girl. I know for sure he'll be an excellent father, and I wish him well on this of many new adventures.
Finally, another friend of mine is about to become a father for the third time. Since he already has two boys, many of us hoped for a daughter this time. However, it looks like he'll be the proud papa of "My Three Sons." I know that his house is a place of joy and fun, the kind of home any child would love to grow up in. So I know that my friend, his wife, his two sons, and the rest of the extended family will make a happy home for this new arrival as well.
New chapters for me? They remain to be seen. I know my wife and I have a weekend getaway coming up next month, and that I'll be running in the Disney Marathon this January. Still, I think I need to start writing new chapters soon, literally. With the help of another friend of mine "in the know," I am learning how to monetize this blog, and to make it a source of remuneration. Don't get me wrong, I like my job, and the earnings and respect that come with it. However, there are other ways I wish to contribute to the world and blogosphere out there, and that's by bringing more and more attention to bullying issues in school and elsewhere, as well as providing motivation for men and boys who sorely lack it (and there are more of them than you may think).
I would like to thank someone out there for a little extra inspiration for new chapters -- my sister. Today she gave me some amazing ideas for this blog, concerning its content at least, and I thank her for it. For her insight and extra motivation, I officially dub her, "The New Oprah!"
Thanks all -- don't forget to comment, e-mail, and "like" on Facebook!
Monday, July 4, 2011
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