Hey all. We just finished the 10 Days of Awe. That's the first 10 days of the Jewish calendar, beginning with Rosh Hashanah and ending with Yom Kippur. That's when G-D gives us all an annual audit, encourages us to pray, repent, and be righteous, and then decides whether to extend our "lease on life" for another year. Like the old folks said, "It's tough to be a Jew!"
Anyway, the Rabbi's sermon on Yom Kippur morning really got my attention. He dealt with the differences between Judaism, and its chief competitor, Hedonism. He explained that Hedonism is America's favorite religion, the one that says, if it's a pain in the ass, don't do it. In other words, hedonists say that you should do whatever feels good, for the sake of indulging your own desires, and not do whatever feels bad, because nobody needs to deal with responsibility.
That one hit home with me for a few reasons. Being a guy, I hate housework. I completely and totally despise the act of cleaning or reorganizing a home. If I were a hedonist, I'd never do it, and everyplace I lived would have looked beyond crappy! But, as the rabbi went onto say, there must be some pain in and discomfort in life. Accordingly, even if housework is pain to me, life would be simply unworkable if I never did it.
The rabbi went on to use death as an example. When a loved one passes away, and it hurts at the funeral, and still hurts afterwards, you should be happy, because it proved that you really loved the deceased. Your pain is evidence of that love!
I'm also still awestruck by the two Haftoroth (readings from the Prophets) that are read on Yom Kippur. The first one, from Isaiah, indicates that merely fasting and standing on ceremony is not what G-D wants. The "fast" He wishes to see is feeding the hungry, clothing the naked, and otherwise taking action to make this world better. Personally, I fasted, as I always do, but it's clear from that Haftarah that it's not enough for me to wipe any slate clean. That's where this blog comes in. You see, what I wish to do is become a motivational speaker for men and boys with low self-esteem. By encouraging them to overcome whatever obstacles are holding them down, I'd like to think that I really would be giving G-D the fast He wants. Too many men and boys have allowed poor parenting, bullying, and improper aggression to chip away at their self-worth. I know it's gotta stop, and I'm just the guy to do it!
The other side of the coin, as opposed to the right path to forgiveness, is forgiving others. That's why the Book of Jonah is read during the afternoon service on Yom Kippur (before the masses all show up for Ne'ilah, the concluding service, and where it's just the old timers who actually operate the synagogue). Jonah was kind of a lame prophet -- he refuses to prophecy where G-D tells him, so he ends up jeopardizing the ship he escapes on, and lives in a fish's stomach for three days before he's vomited out on dry land. Although he was forgiven for his sins, he refuses to prophecy to the people of Nineveh, because he thinks their city sucks and he wants them to get firebombed by heaven above! He does it anyway, the people repent, and he gets jealous, because he didn't want them to be forgiven!
This kind of obstinance is exactly what the world does not need. Like someone who's so uptight that when someone makes a mistake, and apologizes, that he or she won't accept the apology. Perfect example? This woman from Connecticut who one day, gets a letter from the frat guy who date-raped her in college, who wants to clear his conscience and apologize. What does she do in response? Get him to admit what he did in an e-mail, send the e-mail to the police (the jurisdiction where it happened has no statute of limitations on rape), and had him arrested 23 years after the fact.
Did he sin? Yes, very flagrantly. Is he a bad person? Yes he is. Did he know he was wrong? Yes he did. Did he want to apologize for his crime? Sure shooting. Who the hell was she not to forgive him? And what purpose did she serve to put this ne'er do well in jail two decades after the whole thing happened? Her own selfish desire for revenge, that's what!
If anti-bullying laws were retroactive, maybe I could get back at everyone who bullied me in high school decades after the fact. Would I get the same sympathy she did? Not with this Y chromosome I wouldn't! There was nothing different about her issue. She survived the rape and she moved on. Whatever trauma she felt afterwards could not have been anything more than what she chose to feel.
Don't get me wrong, he was no genius. Had he consulted legal counsel, he would have learned that if he contacted her regarding a crime he committed in a jurisdiction with no statute of limitations, he might be prosecuted for his admissions against interest, and then he could have avoided this whole situation. Still, she could have taken the higher road, forgiven him, and continued to move on with her life. Instead, she was a Jonah for our time, who just couldn't forgive because her hatred and grudges spoke louder than any higher purpose.
DISCLAIMER: Rape is a horrible crime, whether it's committed by a stalker in an alley or the captain of the debate team. It warrants prosecution for a reason. I am in no way defending this man's admitted actions. But I am also in no way defending that woman's mean-spirited, cold, callous, vengeful, selfish, borderline evil actions in suckering him into a criminal conviction more than 20 years after the fact. Legalizing revenge does not legitimize it.
Yes, this woman gave G-D the opposite of the fast He wanted, much like Jonah himself did. Nobody can say that anyone else doesn't deserve forgiveness. None of us is above anyone else.
So that's my take on it all. Feel free to comment, and let's be forgiving towards one another!
Sunday, September 19, 2010
Saturday, September 11, 2010
September 11, 2001
9 years later, I still remember where I was and what I was doing.
At the time, I was working in-house for a no-fault insurance carrier on Wall Street. I was scheduled to attend two arbitrations in Huntington, Long Island. Physically, I was far removed from what was about to happen, but I still felt the impact.
Driving to Huntington on the Northern State Parkway, I decided to put on Howard Stern. At the time, he was still on 92.3 K-Rock, and not Sirius or XM Radio. Hadn't listened to him in some time, so I wanted a chuckle.
Howard was not joking that morning. He did let through a few asides about how frustrated he was that Pamela Anderson wouldn't hook up with him, but that was NOT the point of that morning's broadcast. People were calling in telling him that two planes had hit the WTC Twin Towers! Some had seen those planes passing overhead, some had seen the actual impact. I didn't understand what this all meant -- hadn't it already been 8 years since something happened to the World Trade Center?
Notwithstanding Howard's stature, I switched to the other stations on the radio -- surely this was either a rebroadcast of the 1993 bombing, or something entirely different. All other radio stations were reporting the same thing -- the Towers were hit, people were jumping out the windows, Muslim extremists were responsible. How the hell was this happening?!?!?!?
I made it to the first arbitration. The arbitrator had the TV news on, showing both towers in flames, yet we proceeded. Headed to the next one, my adversary was there, but the arbitrator was not.
After 20 minutes, she arrived, after pulling her daughter out of school. She explained to us both that she would not be able to adequately decide the arbitration and continued the case, exhorting us both to "go home and be with your families."
Before leaving, we briefly discussed what had just happened. Although it may be the work of terrorist, she said, it might have been an American, like Timothy McVeigh, who was behind this. I disagreed -- one week beforehand, Israel had pulled out of the World Counsel on Racism, and the US had followed suit. I opined that this was most likely the work of some Palestinian extremists who thought they could punish the US for our "Zionist" leanings. I said, "This was an act of war, nothing else. The US simply has to respond to this, or the rest of the world will think we're weak."
I called my Mom and my girlfriend (at the time) to let them know I was OK. Tried calling the office, but the calls wouldn't go through. I couldn't tell if I had to go into the office, but it seemed that just going home would be the best choice under the circumstances.
The traffic was heavier than normal on the parkways that day -- the State Troopers were out in full force. As I proceeded home, the Towers fell. Without the benefit of TV or Internet access (there were no Blackberries back then), I imagined them both falling down to one side, not collapsing in a stack. I began to fear that all of Wall Street had just been taken out.
I also got angry. I began to mutter under my breath, "Who did this? Who the ---- thought they could do this in our country?!?!?! Find them, kill them all, and let G-D sort them out!"
At the time, I still lived with my parents in Baldwin. My mother's birthday was that day, so as planned, we all had Carvel ice cream cake with my aunt, uncle, & grandmother as we watched CNN. By that time, in the evening, they had removed footage that rumored to show people in the West Bank dancing and selling candy, reveling in this lethal blow rendered by their would-be heroes. Damn them.
For the next week, there was no work. Mayor Giuliani had sealed off everything south of 14th Street in Manhattan, and that included my office. I did not know if I still had a job, or if my co-workers were safe.
Later, we learned that the husband of my mother's friend had perished during the attack. He was on the 90th floor of Tower One -- exactly the point of impact where the plane hit. We decided amongst ourselves that he never knew it happened, and we found solace in that thought. A week later, a memorial service was held in his honor at our synagogue -- it was jam-packed to the rafters.
In the following months, nobody hated anyone else. Total strangers would talk to each other on the subway as if there were no boundaries. A respect for the sanctity of life began to permeate everyone's thoughts and actions. At the same time, an enemy named Osama bin Laden, who had already claimed responsibility for the 1998 attack on the U.S.S. Cole, and the U.S. Embassy in Tanzania, appeared to have been the central figure responsible for the attack. he would follow this up with video and audio tapes decrying perceived injustices against the Muslim world, that somehow justified this mass murder. He was being protected by the Taliban, an extremist religious party that bulled Afghanistan into submission, and was a leader in a gang known as Al-Qaeda.
In a more shocking turn of events, after the U.S. began its eventual attack of retaliation against Afghanistan, it was learned that one member of the Taliban was an American citizen named John Walker Lindh. America screamed for his head as a traitor, but he was instead convicted of a lesser sentence.
Looking back, it seemed like a cross between Pearl Harbor and JFK's assassination. Like those both events, 9/11 brought our country together in a time of shared pain, outrage, and chaos. Like both events, our country emerged stronger than before. Admittedly, it did not lead to victory in a just war, and did not serve to lionize the leader of our nation at that time. But it did remind us, the hard way, that life is short and fragile. It awakened us to the reality that others in this world are so easily swayed by inflammatory rhetoric, that they de-value human life. It made us more patriotic, more G-D-fearing, and more wary of who in the world seeks us well or harm.
Now, 9 years later, it appears that we have nearly stooped to the level of our enemies. We have now vilified a religion and a culture that was hijacked by extremists, because it is far easier to paint with a broad brush than with fine strokes. We have abandoned the higher standards of freedom and liberty that our enemies could never comprehend, because it is simply easier to allow hatred spewed by demagogues to guide us in an exercise of groupthink. We wear the blood of the victims as justification for becoming victimizers. Just what exactly are we doing here?
Will they allow churches and synagogues to be built in Mecca. No, they won't -- but why should we be as horrible as they are? Why legitimize their medieval methods by mirroring them? The First Amendment protects the free exercise of religion -- not just your religion and not just mine, but religion, period.
Are you worried about more terrorist acts in that space? The police and military presence already there will prevent that. Are you concerned that Friday services will be an outlet to incite worshippers to attack perceived infidels? Join the club, Israel's had that problem for 60 years -- but again, patrolling that area will ensure that any hate-filled rhetoric will not spill out onto the streetes (at least not from the mosque supporters, anyway).
What we have here is the case of a reaction far exceeding the action. I'm reminded of what happened when the KKK held a mini-rally in lower Manhattan. All those huckleberries did was hold up a sign supporting the KKK while wearing their robes. It was the PROTESTERS who caused trouble, it was the PROTESTERS that caused disorderly conduct, and it was the PROTESTERS who filled the air with hate-filled speech. By doing so, they made the Klansmen look like angels floating down from heaven! They drew you all offside, and you got yourselves penalized!
Learn a lesson, anti-mosque protestors -- you're making yourselves look ridiculous, as did the Klan protesters. You no longer wear the cloak of victim-hood, instead you wear the uniform of vengeance. When we think more and emote less, we prevent such embarrassing episodes from happening. Your hate-filled rhetoric, targeted against a religion that existed more than a thousand years before bin Laden hooked up his dialysis machine, is backfiring badly. Sorry, but you're just not the good guys here. Please be guided accordingly.
At the time, I was working in-house for a no-fault insurance carrier on Wall Street. I was scheduled to attend two arbitrations in Huntington, Long Island. Physically, I was far removed from what was about to happen, but I still felt the impact.
Driving to Huntington on the Northern State Parkway, I decided to put on Howard Stern. At the time, he was still on 92.3 K-Rock, and not Sirius or XM Radio. Hadn't listened to him in some time, so I wanted a chuckle.
Howard was not joking that morning. He did let through a few asides about how frustrated he was that Pamela Anderson wouldn't hook up with him, but that was NOT the point of that morning's broadcast. People were calling in telling him that two planes had hit the WTC Twin Towers! Some had seen those planes passing overhead, some had seen the actual impact. I didn't understand what this all meant -- hadn't it already been 8 years since something happened to the World Trade Center?
Notwithstanding Howard's stature, I switched to the other stations on the radio -- surely this was either a rebroadcast of the 1993 bombing, or something entirely different. All other radio stations were reporting the same thing -- the Towers were hit, people were jumping out the windows, Muslim extremists were responsible. How the hell was this happening?!?!?!?
I made it to the first arbitration. The arbitrator had the TV news on, showing both towers in flames, yet we proceeded. Headed to the next one, my adversary was there, but the arbitrator was not.
After 20 minutes, she arrived, after pulling her daughter out of school. She explained to us both that she would not be able to adequately decide the arbitration and continued the case, exhorting us both to "go home and be with your families."
Before leaving, we briefly discussed what had just happened. Although it may be the work of terrorist, she said, it might have been an American, like Timothy McVeigh, who was behind this. I disagreed -- one week beforehand, Israel had pulled out of the World Counsel on Racism, and the US had followed suit. I opined that this was most likely the work of some Palestinian extremists who thought they could punish the US for our "Zionist" leanings. I said, "This was an act of war, nothing else. The US simply has to respond to this, or the rest of the world will think we're weak."
I called my Mom and my girlfriend (at the time) to let them know I was OK. Tried calling the office, but the calls wouldn't go through. I couldn't tell if I had to go into the office, but it seemed that just going home would be the best choice under the circumstances.
The traffic was heavier than normal on the parkways that day -- the State Troopers were out in full force. As I proceeded home, the Towers fell. Without the benefit of TV or Internet access (there were no Blackberries back then), I imagined them both falling down to one side, not collapsing in a stack. I began to fear that all of Wall Street had just been taken out.
I also got angry. I began to mutter under my breath, "Who did this? Who the ---- thought they could do this in our country?!?!?! Find them, kill them all, and let G-D sort them out!"
At the time, I still lived with my parents in Baldwin. My mother's birthday was that day, so as planned, we all had Carvel ice cream cake with my aunt, uncle, & grandmother as we watched CNN. By that time, in the evening, they had removed footage that rumored to show people in the West Bank dancing and selling candy, reveling in this lethal blow rendered by their would-be heroes. Damn them.
For the next week, there was no work. Mayor Giuliani had sealed off everything south of 14th Street in Manhattan, and that included my office. I did not know if I still had a job, or if my co-workers were safe.
Later, we learned that the husband of my mother's friend had perished during the attack. He was on the 90th floor of Tower One -- exactly the point of impact where the plane hit. We decided amongst ourselves that he never knew it happened, and we found solace in that thought. A week later, a memorial service was held in his honor at our synagogue -- it was jam-packed to the rafters.
In the following months, nobody hated anyone else. Total strangers would talk to each other on the subway as if there were no boundaries. A respect for the sanctity of life began to permeate everyone's thoughts and actions. At the same time, an enemy named Osama bin Laden, who had already claimed responsibility for the 1998 attack on the U.S.S. Cole, and the U.S. Embassy in Tanzania, appeared to have been the central figure responsible for the attack. he would follow this up with video and audio tapes decrying perceived injustices against the Muslim world, that somehow justified this mass murder. He was being protected by the Taliban, an extremist religious party that bulled Afghanistan into submission, and was a leader in a gang known as Al-Qaeda.
In a more shocking turn of events, after the U.S. began its eventual attack of retaliation against Afghanistan, it was learned that one member of the Taliban was an American citizen named John Walker Lindh. America screamed for his head as a traitor, but he was instead convicted of a lesser sentence.
Looking back, it seemed like a cross between Pearl Harbor and JFK's assassination. Like those both events, 9/11 brought our country together in a time of shared pain, outrage, and chaos. Like both events, our country emerged stronger than before. Admittedly, it did not lead to victory in a just war, and did not serve to lionize the leader of our nation at that time. But it did remind us, the hard way, that life is short and fragile. It awakened us to the reality that others in this world are so easily swayed by inflammatory rhetoric, that they de-value human life. It made us more patriotic, more G-D-fearing, and more wary of who in the world seeks us well or harm.
Now, 9 years later, it appears that we have nearly stooped to the level of our enemies. We have now vilified a religion and a culture that was hijacked by extremists, because it is far easier to paint with a broad brush than with fine strokes. We have abandoned the higher standards of freedom and liberty that our enemies could never comprehend, because it is simply easier to allow hatred spewed by demagogues to guide us in an exercise of groupthink. We wear the blood of the victims as justification for becoming victimizers. Just what exactly are we doing here?
Will they allow churches and synagogues to be built in Mecca. No, they won't -- but why should we be as horrible as they are? Why legitimize their medieval methods by mirroring them? The First Amendment protects the free exercise of religion -- not just your religion and not just mine, but religion, period.
Are you worried about more terrorist acts in that space? The police and military presence already there will prevent that. Are you concerned that Friday services will be an outlet to incite worshippers to attack perceived infidels? Join the club, Israel's had that problem for 60 years -- but again, patrolling that area will ensure that any hate-filled rhetoric will not spill out onto the streetes (at least not from the mosque supporters, anyway).
What we have here is the case of a reaction far exceeding the action. I'm reminded of what happened when the KKK held a mini-rally in lower Manhattan. All those huckleberries did was hold up a sign supporting the KKK while wearing their robes. It was the PROTESTERS who caused trouble, it was the PROTESTERS that caused disorderly conduct, and it was the PROTESTERS who filled the air with hate-filled speech. By doing so, they made the Klansmen look like angels floating down from heaven! They drew you all offside, and you got yourselves penalized!
Learn a lesson, anti-mosque protestors -- you're making yourselves look ridiculous, as did the Klan protesters. You no longer wear the cloak of victim-hood, instead you wear the uniform of vengeance. When we think more and emote less, we prevent such embarrassing episodes from happening. Your hate-filled rhetoric, targeted against a religion that existed more than a thousand years before bin Laden hooked up his dialysis machine, is backfiring badly. Sorry, but you're just not the good guys here. Please be guided accordingly.
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