A Friend's Wedding

Hey folks -- since I started a new blog recently, FANFARE FOR THE COMMON MAN, I've been away from this one for a few weeks.  But now I'm back, and I'd like to share some new thoughts.

Last night, The Lady and I attended the wedding of a good friend of mine.  The ceremony was unique -- it was a civil ceremony performed by a Judge.  As part of the ceremony, he had hte bride and groom use a laptop to formally change their statuses on Facebook!  Made me laugh -- when I was a teenager, I assisted my father, who was a wedding photographer, and we'd seen all different kinds of weddings, but I'd never seen that before!  A sign of the times, no doubt.

Then The Lady and I had the privilege of sitting with a married couple who I've been friends with for years, and their two boys.  The younger of the boys is my godson, whom I've posted about before -- like I said, it's even more fun playing with a 3-year-old kid with a mohawk!

I've posted before about how much I missed my Long Island friends -- not long before I met my wife, we hung out every single weekend.  I usually had a long run on a Saturday morning, but I'd still see them at a local karaoke joint on Friday night -- I'd cut out on the early side, but I always wanted to see them.  And nearly every Sunday night, my friend's wife would cook up a Sunday dinner that any Iron Chef contestant would envy!

But after meeting my wife, and moving off Long Island, I saw them less and less.  I did what I could to be part of their lives under the circumstances, but there was a little bit of resentment.  They never really said anything negative to me, but I could see that they weren't totally happy.  It probably felt like I was leaving them behind after I'd found someone to marry, as if they were some kind of "chopped liver" getting passed over for the main course.

I'd like to think that seeing them at the wedding might have made things a little better.  My wife was not always able to come with me to their house for Sunday dinner, but she was with me for this shindig, and we both had the chance to really just enjoy ourselves with my friends and the kids.  Before the wedding, my friends did not really know much about my wife, but that may have changed somewhat now.  I'd like to think that after this, I could invite the crew to our place, and spend a day in the City with them all.  My wife is often busy rehearsing, teaching, or coaching on Sunday nights, but I think I could get her to come with me to the crew's house once or twice!

More importantly than building bridges with the important grown-ups in my life, I was reminded again that I do have an obligation as a godfather.  Although the wedding had a civil ceremony, one of the bride's relatives was called upon to give an invocation before the meal.  Since one spouse was Catholic and one was Protestant, the bride's brother showed love and harmony for all gatherered there by leading the entire group in a recitation of the "Our Father," a prayer shared by both faiths.  My wife and I were not adherents of either religion, so at first I was not going to say it.  Then I saw my godson's older brother seated next to me just wondering why he had to stand up and not eat.  Although my godson was on the other side of the table with his parents, and couldn't hear me, I started whispering the words to "Our Father" in his brother's ear, to get him to follow along. 

Not the most amazing, snazzy-jazzy thing in the world, of course.  I just realized that it was a good idea to remind him to ask G-D to "give us this day our daily bread" before devouring it, even though the catering staff would have quickly given him another roll anyway.  As both boys get older, my visits should probably include a few minutes of basic ethical and spiritual reminders.  Maybe a little tiny bit about my religion, but it should be a bit more about their own.  At the ages of 6 and 3, they're too little to understand what it's all about now, but soon they'll be old enough to listen.  And that's when I hope I'll make a better impact on their lives, as well as the lives of their parents, and the rest of their Long Island family.

So here's to reconnecting and tightening bonds, people -- hope you all do likewise!